Even taking a zopiclone tablet, which I spent about 90 minutes getting, via a hellish call to 111, in the middle of another sleepless night (the night before this!), and which last time I took them knocked me out, is failing to help me sleep.
I don’t want to wake the neighbours. But I do want to scream. Ffffaaaarrrgggghhhin’ Hell! This insomnia shit is really getting quite f*cked up!
The percentage of my week that’s being affected by this keeps growing. About two weeks back it was once or twice a week. Then it escalated to three or four nights a week. Right now it’s every goddamn night!
There’s been a long break since I last took zopiclone. And even then I only took three. All individually, and all several days apart. That was several months back. So it ought not be that I’ve become accustomed to it.
This waking hell has caused a slight blip in my abstinence campaign. I’ve managed to stay of the booze. But I’ve slipped – only in a. very minor way – in a couple of other areas. It’s the sheer boredom and frustration of trying to make it through the night.
But any laxity – I love Oscar Wilde’s ‘I can resist everything but temptation’ – can either be very damaging to morale and/or resolve, in itself, or can be the start of a more complete collapse, or snowball effect. Using the words in a strictly secular sense, I devoutly pray that I remain strong!
Once again I’ve only been prescribed three zopiclone pills (same as last time). They look like this:
The temptation to pop another zop is very strong. I just want to sleep! At night. You know, when we’re supposed to. Otherwise a great deal of missed night time sleep winds up happening in the day. And that hampers my ability to function as a properly active and responsible adult.