This is a funny old post for me to be making.
For a long time I was pretty severely depressed. For many reasons. From Robert Crumb like ‘troubles with women’, in my teens’, to struggling to adjust socially on leaving home, and dealing (badly) with health issues like psoriasis and later a related form of arthritis.
But now, and for a quite a considerable and growing length of time, I have been happy. I almost feel I shouldn’t say anything about it, as I don’t want to ‘jinx’ myself! But I’m not surreptitious, as Count Arthur Strong puts it!
I think it’s partly down to having bought our own home. Which we did about five years ago. It’s also due to a work life balance that is about as good as it’s ever been; I work three days a week, teaching drums, and the rest of the week is mine to spend as I see fit.
But I think the two chief reasons are my stable and happy relationship with Teresa, and modern medicine. The former has brought me a cosy nested feeling. A sense of belonging in the world, and being accepted as I am. Better yet, being appreciated, even treasured, for what I am. What a balm for the soul/psyche that is!
The role of medicine is not to be sniffed at either. I take anti-depressants daily. And unlike many others I’ve known who’ve wound up in such a position, my regime seems to work very well. But even more important, I have a medication that quashes both my psoriasis and the related arthritis. If I wasn’t physically ’better’, I’d certainly still be properly depressed.
And being both mentally and physically successfully medicated, I feel like a fairly normal human being. Whatever that is. I’ve even been able to cope with remaining childless, despite spending pretty large sums on unsuccessful IVF.
This – being happy- is a theme I’ll return to. But for now that’s all f-f-f-f-folks!