FiLM REViEW: Curse of the Crimson Altar, 1968

Hmmm!? I took out a free week long trial with Shudder, so as to watch more horror over Halloween this year. But this Tigon movie from 1968, despite horror ‘heavyweights’ Boris Karloff and Christopher Lee playing key roles, was pretty dire.

The titles are possibly more exciting than the movie.

It starts out with much mammary action, like a weird collision of Star Trek and Hammer (turns out the writers also write for Dr Who!), titillating, if you’ll pardon the pun, as if it’s going to be a kind of trashy sexploitation flick, with a bit of hippy era debauchery thrown in.

Bimbo and himbo, attractive but dull.

But then it goes all stodgy and lame – not warranting the effort a plot synopsis might entail – and wanders around aimlessly for ages, with sod all happening. Mark Eden as Robert Manning is a good looking but rather charisma-less lead, and his dolly bird love interest, Eve Morley (Virginia Wetherell), is sexy but soulless. Like the film. Actually, the film isn’t even sexy. Tawdry, perhaps?

Not as sexy as it thinks it is.

The done to death ‘witches coven in the modern world’ trope is flogged like a long dead carcass, yielding nothing more than the stale odour of decay. Sad, as this was one of Karloff’s last roles. Mind, I’ve never seen him in anything good. But to go out with a whimper on a damp squib like this? A shame.

As crap as it looks …

Can’t say I’d recommend this. Instead I’d recommend not bothering.

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