Bah!!
I was inhumanly tired today. So much so I was laboured in my breathing, moving slowly, and got ‘the shakes’.
The latter made me think I must be hungry, or having some kind of sugar or energy crash. So I had a bite of late-ish lunch (about 3.30 pm) at Anne’s Thai Café. Spending money I can ill afford. But I figured I simply had to eat. And eat well.
I got home about 4 pm. And proceeded to sleep on the sofa for about 90 minutes to two hours. To be awoken in the dark, by Teresa getting home, somewhere near 6 pm.
Of course, at any point from waking up till about 6 pm I could simply lay down and go to sleep. But come bed/sleep time? Not a fucking chance! Despite two Valerian tablets and a small tot of ‘medicinal’ whiskey.
I’ve been sleeping really well for ages. Why, in the last week or so, has this godawful insomnia suddenly reared its ugly mother-loving head?
And of course it hits worst on nights like tonight, when I have an early start and a long day at work tomorrow. It’s like my mind and body are determined to fuck me up!
I suppose I do need to exercise much more regularly. We did do our ‘seniors’ Joe Wicks-ercise this evening (first time in aeons). And I should also try getting up earlier, and not sleeping during the day.
But as already noted, I’d been sleeping very well despite the lack of exercise, or early rising, and with much daytime sleeping, before. So why this sudden outbreak of insomnia?
Human language isn’t strong enough to convey how I loathe insomnia. I just wish I could switch off my conscious mind. That seems to me one of the prime issues. Super itchy feet at night don’t help tho’, either.
The latter’s been an issue for me for quite a while – a few years, I’d say – of late. I use athletes’ foot powder, when it gets unbearable.
Why is it my body and mind are at war with themselves? That’s also essentially what psoriasis and psoriatic arthritis are; manifestations of the body’s own immune system at war with itself/the body!
Gaaah!!!
Already this evening I’ve tried just laying there, hoping I’ll drift off, eventually. Two Valerian pills (I take one or two most nights). A small dram o’ whiskey. Meditating (mindfulness of breathing), soothing rain sounds, different positions, reading a bit… all sorts!
But nowt stops the racing febrile mind. Sleep, which I could do at the drop of the hat all the live long day, just will not come…