I’ve mused upon my possible ‘allergy to life’ before. My psoriasis and psoriatic arthritis are, to my mind, potential manifestations of this idea.
The skin component came on in my early to mid teens. The bone part started about a decade later.
I’ve also had some form of perennial rhinitis since childhood, prior to the onset of the psoriatic conditions.
So my body’s baseline is, it seems, to be at war either with itself, or ‘nature’ at large, or both. Not an ideal starting point.
Depression also began during early teen years. And as time passed, grew ever stronger. Aided in growth by the physical aspects of ill health, and psychological issues, arising from family and relationship stuff.
The ‘nuclear family’ blew up in my late teens. And the fallout has been lifelong. And, as Robert Crumb has it, ‘my troubles with women’ have cast an equally long and doleful shadow.
And here I am. 52 years old. Struggling with both physical and mental health issues. Will things ever get any better? Or will they actually get worse?
I’m on a ‘biologic’ treatment for the psoriatic stuff. And have been for what must be about a decade now. And that has improved things massively on the skin and bones front. So there’s certainly some grounds for optimism.
But sometimes – like now – it can seem that there’s nowt to look forward to but yet more slings and arrows. I only just got back to work, after three weeks not earning. And I seem to have picked up a cold or infection.
In my fragile state, all and any setbacks can be magnified out of all proportion.
LATER THE SAME DAY…
Well, I rang 111. They had someone – allegedly a doctor – call me back. He reckoned I prob’ had an infection. And that antibiotics might be a good idea.
He also set up an urgent – as in within the hour – ‘out of hours’ appointment for me, at Doddington Hospital.
The lady I saw there seemed to think I was fine!!! And when I mentioned the Doc’s comments, re infection and antibiotics, she ridiculed the suggestion (actually saying the person I spoke to obviously didn’t know their business!).
I went home. Very pissed off. What a total waste of my time and near non-existent energies. I may take this up, with 111, or whoever is appropriate.
[pic/vid?]
Anyway, once home, I was offered a shift. So I did it. Just as that shift ended, I was offered another. So I did that as well. I didn’t really want to work at all today. But our economic situation requires I do all that I can.
And now I’m home, in bed, feeling utterly appalling. My nose feels as if someone’s poured concrete into it. It’s totally blocked (inflamed?). And my throat feels like I’ve been deep breathing in a combination coalmine/woodwork-shop.
So… what am I to do? I’m using Vicks Vapor Rub on my chest, and as a steam inhalation. I’m taking Lemsip, and throat lozenges. And lots of liquids, inc’ hot lemon n’ honey, etc.
But I feel like absolute shit! And in addition to all the usual crap, plus this cold or allergy or whatever the fuck it is, I have super-itchy toes. Athlete’s Foot, perhaps?
We just watched the rather duff Curse of The Crimson Altar. And now I really ought to sleep. But I have to sit upright, on account of my breathing/congestion. My feet – esp’ the right one – are driving me nuts. Gaaah!!!
It’s 10pm. I’ve been abed since about 7.30-8’ish. I’ve got a calming YouTube video playing. I’ll try reading. I just hope I get a good nights sleep…