The current no-work scenario is proving to be a major downer. We’re trying to tidy the home a bit, and sift through stuff to take to a car boot sale tomorrow.
But even that is massively depressing, as I don’t have anything much of real value, at least that I want to part with, nor do we have the wherewithal to set up a stall at the car-boot.
Everything feels like such hard work. And not at all worth the effort. I’m at a very, very, very low ebb. And whilst I’m mostly tee-total these days, I just bought this:
But I’m in the fuck it all zone, to be honest.
Some time later…
Well, the plan remains to do Skylark car boot tomorrow. Which means an appallingly early start. And I don’t really have either the stuff to sell, or the means to display it. I’m actually a bit worried it might be a waste of time, energy, and poss’ even money… if I don’t recoup what it costs to get in as a ‘trader’!
I’ve got some books. Some DVDs. Some DIY type tools, and some model kits. That’s it! And not very much in any of those categories. But I’m getting desperate.
If work – as in Amazon Flex – doesn’t come good very soon, I’ll have to sign on, as unemployed.
And it’s soooo hard to do anything. And I literally mean anything, when you’re as depressed as I am. Motivation disappears. And is replaced by exhaustion, lethargy, torpor, etc.
Teresa has very stoically tried to help me rally my spirits. And I feel guilty towards her, on account of my implacable misery. She has even managed to lift them a little here and there. But the my mind goes back to the harsh fiscal reality of current circs, and I’m right back in the doldrums.
We stopped outside St Wendreda’s, earlier, after scavenging for cardboard boxes (for the boot sale), and it was beautifully sunny. But as pleasant as it was, it didn’t really make a dent in my depression.
Watching what is allegedly the very last Grand Tour instalment, One For The Road, distracted me from my blues a bit. We’ve had a bath and come to bed now. I’m going to watch the last 30 minutes of Jezza and co now. Hopefully help me to decompress a bit before snoozeville?