It’s 5.30 am, and I’ve woken up. At least I got off to sleep last night, and without the help of pills (zopiclone).
My mind is active. And no surprise, really. As, sans car, I’m also without income. And as I’m already heavily in debt, that creates anxiety, bordering on panic.
The main thrust of this post is a realisation, or admission: I’m going to have to give up on my musical dreams. At least for the time being. It’s a matter of survival.
I’m going to have try and sell near enough everything and anything that I own, musically speaking, to raise money, so we don’t lose our home.
And since I’m awake now, I’m going to start by doing something very unusual for me; instead of laying in, and sleeping till late – I’m always exhausted – I’m going to get up, and – I hope? – start selling all (or most) of my music gear.
I’m hoping this will help on multiple fronts and levels: bringing in money, de-cluttering, simplifying my life, and reducing stress. I hope I’m doing the right thing?
This new madness starts with getting up now – it’s just coming up to 6am – and going to the Tesco Metro, for bacon and bread rolls. Being up and dressed, with a freshly made bacon butty inside me, might enable me to make a start on this new course…
Oh, and a dose of one of Joe Wicks’ senior workouts is also called for. But that can wait till after breakfast.
Some time later…
Well, as the bacon butty pics attest to, I did get up, and make breakfast. Teresa and I then played three rounds of rummy. Then I fell asleep. It’d now 9.45 am. And I’ve just spoken to Copart, about the collection/retention, etc, of Ruby.
I’ll get up now. For the second time. And make a start on a few of the planned things I need to get busy doing. First a trip to local charity shops with a load of stuff, to start the de-cluttering. I’ll also pick up a few prints I’ve had done at March Stationary & Print.
Then I’ll start advertising various bit of music gear, and tidying various parts of our home. Whilst I await further news re the car and my insurance payout.
With the time approaching 11 am, after a second trip to the High Street, I’ve now got rid of just shy of 40 CDs. Mostly modern pop stuff, that I’d gotten via Freecycle (with a view to potential use in drum lessons).
I’ve kept just two or three discs from this collection. Teresa took about ten, to take to her workplace. So that’s me shot of about 50 CDs that have really just been cluttering up the place. I gave them to the Cancer Research shop, next door to March Stationary & Print.
I hope they sell, and raise a few bob for a worthy cause…
* I love my cue-cards. It might be tragic of me, but I really don’t care anymore. Whatever works. I’m planning to double the pack size, with a load more helpful affirmations and admonitions, etc. Plus I have a couple of other folk wanting sets. Recently I’ve been picking a card, semi-randomly, as my ‘card for the day’; something to meditate upon. ‘Trust Yourself’ is todays…
Even later…
Well, it’s just gone 8 pm. Today has not been an easy day, psychologically. I think the car crash finally hit me, so to speak, emotionally. I got a bit tearful around dinner time. Teresa cooked a fab pasta dish. Which helped.
And finally, just before sitting down to type this ‘end of the day’ addition, we did our 10 minute workout. It’s amazing how effectively it combats depression. I pretty much always feel a noticeable degree of benefit, in terms of a mood upturn.
Thankyou, Joe Wicks, and thanks to my body for the endorphins. I really need to learn to put this connection to more/better use. Maybe substitute my mooning daydreams for a bit of P.E.?