Some while ago I posted excitedly about ordering a bunch of groovy green tops. Well, turns out the company in question are Chinese bandits. They pinch pics of expensive fashion-wear from genuine makers/sellers, and pretend they’ll sell you it for peanuts. Should’ve known it was too good to be true.
The only upside is that I filed a complaint and a request for a refund. And, somewhat to my surprise, they did refund me. Now I’m worried they might be flogging my card/account details! This and another recent and similar farce have taught me to NEVER EVER buy clothes off FB marketing links!
I’ve been enjoying a relatively prolonged spell of happiness. Or rather I was enjoying same, up until very recently. Witness my post of 8/11/‘21.
A few times recently I’ve had distinct wobbles. See the recent Nick Drake referencing post on poetry and depression. But tonight – or maybe today/this afternoon? – it, depression that is, hit me really hard. Like being squished by an elephant (with red painted toenails, perhaps?) who’s fallen or leapt from a very high tree!
It can feel like having been psychically streamrolled. One feels flat, dead, dull. A bit like the depressive painter from The Fast Show, everything turns to black. Sheer Dread is the dominant hue.
Staying with the road-building vehicles metaphor, it’s rather like being bulldozed, or, to reference a Black Metal act of yesteryear, Killdozed. (Not the sort-of famous band Killdozer, out of Madison, Wisconsin.)
I actually found myself ringing The Samaritans, as Teresa prepared our dinner. I hung up on the poor volunteer when Teresa came in to announce that dinner was ready, and asked who I was speaking to. I told her who it was; when she asked why, I replied ‘I’m feeling a little down.’
That’s a bit of an understatement! I don’t know about other folk. But I’ve had numerous depressive episodes over my lifetime. I’ve found that one reaches the depths quicker with each visit: at first it’s a gradual (and over time) deepening descent. Later down the line you can teleport from apparently fine/normal directly to stupefied zombie instantaneously.
Anyway, I had a bath, ate my dinner, watched a bit of snooker, and Teresa made us pancakes. It is, after all, Greasy Tuesday! I tried to still myself, and silence the looped mantras of hopelessness that are the usual internal monologue at such times. And, much to my surprise, the pitch black waves of the Ocean of Doom gradually receded.
One characteristic of depression – one I don’t always suffer from – can be that literally nothing is interesting or pleasurable. I was veering that way today. Indeed, I was careering off a cliff of nihilistic oblivion. I’m very surprised I’ve pulled through, to be honest.
Wallowing in sh*t!?
Being still and quiet, when profoundly depressed, sometimes simply means stewing in melancholy. Luckily today I was, after a while floundering, able to clamber out of that particular whirlpool, or sidestep that ‘twister’?
One of the things that helped, I think, was trying to recall what’s good in life for me at present (despite the pitch black tsunami of emotion!): I’ve just been given a car! I have a loving wife, who’s come home from work and cooked us dinner and pancakes. And so on.
I’m also thinking (yet again!) that perhaps I should go tee-total. Either just until I’m out of this funk, or perhaps longer term? I have definitely been leaning into the sauce as a self-soothing or self-medicating crutch, or distraction. And, whilst it can be pleasurable in the short term, on balance I think it’s more harmful than helpful.
There are some other issues, but I’ll leave it at this for now. That’s enough candid confessional stuff for the time being, methinks. I just hope I can win the fight against my own demons, and/or the slings and arrows of this ol’ life.
*On a much cheerier shit-themed note, I do love Chris Packham’s crappy calendar!
I recently got back in touch with a friend, Melanie de Smith, who I hadn’t seen for several decades. We found each other via another mutual friend, on Facebook, How they know each other I’m yet to find out.
Mel and I have now met a few times. The first time was at Amy Ellis’ last birthday party. And it there that we discovered we both have MX5s, of similar style and vintage. Hers is 19 years old, and has done about 110k, mine is 20, and has clocked up over 190k!
They’re neither of them in tip-top shape. Mine has the ubiquitous rust issues. Hers has those as well, although (poss’?) to a lesser degree, and, she tells me, needs a new clutch soon. Judging from how it drives, she probably needs rear brake callipers as well.
And, rather tragically, both our cars have had the CATs stolen in the last 6-12 months! I only just had mine (and most of the exhaust) replaced! The idea is, with the two MX5s, I might just get one that’s a runner. And keep the other for spares. Or poss even a project re-build?
Southbound platform at March Station.
I took the train from March to Cambridge, and then a bus, from the rail station to Cavendish Avenue, where Mel and her car are/were. I always feel a bit like tourist when I’m on public transport!
View from March rail station foot-bridge.Nice shadows!
That was all yesterday. Today I fitted a new number plate holder. Mel had broken the old one, in a bump. I also gave the car a light partial wash, in the muckiest areas. Just to spruce her up a bit! Need to get her declared SORN now.
It’s Sunday, and I got up very late. Midday! I sold a couple of 200W LED lights to a guy calling himself ‘Danny Fury’. I didn’t get anything like their real full value. But we need to thin down our clutter. I got £60 for the pair.
I’ve also been moving stuff from the grey shed (shed #3!) into the big green shed (#4!). And then I finally got around to what is, I think, my third (or poss even fourth?) attempt at hanging a door on shed #3. I’ve come to realise that this entire shed must be a leaning-to-the-right parallelogram!
Head foreman Chester checks my work!
The door itself is cut pretty durn square. And the horizontal cladding is pretty durn horizontal. And yet the door seems to lean right, which is most evident at the top and bottom. What this should teach me is to take more care when erecting such structures, to keep all the main members running as straight, true and square as I possibly can.
Anyway, with a much more satisfactory door in place than heretofore (the previous door just kept failing to pieces!), next I’ll be adding a door-handle and locks.
A lovely blaze!
Today was nice enough to eat our lunch outside. Which we did. Plus we had our first fire of the year. Something about fire is so primal! As Tom Waits once sang, ‘all Hallowe’en orange and chim-e-ny red’!
Well, several days ago now – ‘twas ‘pon the Sunday last, I do believe? – I finally finished the loft flooring work.
I first put a middle section of board up there three, four, or poss’ more years ago. That was a chequerboard affair of small tile like boards.
Pic
And then, ages later, I did what I’ll call the right or back side, roughly doubling the available floor space. This latest bout has seen me do the left or front side, tripling the original floor area.
There’s still loads to be done up there: partitioning us off from the neighbours (at present) contiguous loft space; fitting electrics, so there’s proper lighting up there; poss’ even turning the resultant space into a proper walled (& insulated room)?
Pic
And quite apart from any of those further shenanigans, there’s the by no means small matter of tidying up all the crap that we have up there, so as we know what we have, and, if need be, can get at it. At present, like everywhere else in our home, it’s a godawful mess!
From the riff-mongous original and opener, Whole Lotta Love, to the closing blues cover Bring It On Home, it’s a tour de force of dynamics, group interplay, and just damned fine music.
The linked YouTube video, above, is the entire album, and allegedly a remaster (2014?), from the official Led Zeppelin YouTube channel. Listening to it on Bluetooth headphones on an iPhone, I’m not sure I can hear much of a sonic improvement over past iterations. I’d need to do an A/B comparison, and haven’t done so.
But it’s always sounded great. Despite it’s having been composed, performed, recorded and mixed in a very fragmentary way. Something engineer/producer Eddie Kramer attributes to Jimmy Page’s guiding hands (and ears!).
There’s not one bad track. The weakest is Livin’, Lovin’ Maid (She’s Just A Woman), which the group never performed live, reflecting their opinion of it. It’s the most dated sounding track, both musically and lyrically. But personally I still love it. I’ve read that it was about a groupie!
What struck me the most on listening to this album today was manifold: they don’t make ‘em like they used to! Like much music of the era, this poops all over modern pop from Olympian heights, most decidedly not in terms of hi-fi gloss, but rather in terms of soulful art.
The chemistry or synergy of the group is just incredible. Also, the range, breadth and depth, of dynamics and intensity, is truly astonishing; ranging from the lightest of touches to a heaviness that constantly causes people to cite/credit them as forbears of metal, often in the same song!
Often, as with Heartbreaker or Ramble On, this range is within the one track! It’s even true if Whole Lotta Love, albeit that everything about that number is dialled up to eleven!
Another thing that struck me is the virtuosity. It’s a different kind or order of skill to later prog monsters like ELP, or the stick in trade fluency of many jazzbos, but it really is astonishing. Each and every individual in the group has that level of skill on their instrument, from Plant’s incredibly distinctive vocals, via Jimmy’s guitar, to Bonham’s legendary drumming, and never ever forgetting the ridiculous multi-instrumentalist abilities of bassist extraordinaire, John Paul Jones.
Cream wore their much lauded – and self-trumpeted (mostly by drummer and founder Ginger Baker) – musical chops rather heavily and way too self-consciously. Led Zeppelin, on the other hand, just ooze class, pegs is in spite of the bombastic mythologising that has surrounded them. They loved to play, and they played brilliantly, making it sound easy and effortless, but they really were each of them absolute mothers! Never was the epithet super-group more apt, in the rock context.
Something else – something Van Halen were to pick up on later and make even more of a feature of – and that sometimes goes by unremarked, is that on the first few Zep records, and perhaps this one most of all, the whole group provide backing vocals. To great effect, in my opinion.
Ginger Baker is a foundational influence for me, but he was a bitter and snarky man, capable of being great artist and musician, and total and utter dick. His views on his own abilities versus Bonham, most especially his allegation that Bonham couldn’t swing, are beyond laughable or even contemptible. They’re so surreally far off the mark as to bring Baker’s perception and/or mental acuity/health into question. But that’s another topic. Dave Grohl was much closer to the mark when he said of Bonzo, ‘he… coming out of his ass!’ [find quote. Drummer mag!?]
Talking of Bonham, if I were being utterly merciless (not to mention very unhip!) I might say that Moby Dick was next, after Livin’ Lovin’, in terms of weaker cuts. But first off, I’m a drummer myself, and secondly, I love – no, I adore – both the riff and the guitar breaks, as well as Bonzo’s incredible solo. And, as a jazznik, instrumental skills and solos are not anathema to me, as I hear they are for some peculiar folk.
Talking of jazz, I believe I’ve read somewhere that it was seeing or hearing Joe Morello, Dave Brubeck’s stellar drummer, drum with his bare hands, that inspired Bonham to do likewise. Morello is, like Bonham, one of the great drummers of all time. And soloing on drum kit with your bare hands? It’s not for the faint-hearted.
As a rather bonkers footnote, here’s the CCS (or TOTP Orchestra!?) version of Whole Lotta Love:
With flute instead of lead vocal, and lots of horns (inc. a bit mimicking the famous guitar break), this is a surreal take on Zep’s most famous and indeed signature riff-based Leviathan. Mush all this oddity has some nostalgic vintage charm, as it was used as the TOTP them music for about a decade. But compared to the Zep original? It’s like popcorn or tinsel.
But one reason I include it in this post is because of the Alexis Korner connection. I’ll leave it at that for now, however, as it’s late, and sleep hygiene demands that I turn in.
Footnote to the footnote: Korner and Plant were recording together, until Jimmy Page, himself a former Korner acolyte, pinched Plant for his ‘New Yardbirds’. This is one of two recordings from that unfinished project. Plant’s voice is fab. The rest of the track less so! It helps emphasise how great musicians sound so much better with other great musicians.
Aaaargh!!! After sleeping like a log at my sister’s last night, I’m back home, and unable to catch those lovely ZZZs… dang it! Have come downstairs, so my huffing and puffing and tossing and turning don’t wake the Mrs. She could sleep for England! She’s an Olympian sleeper. I’m very jealous!
For a while now Teresa and I have being doing alternate weekends looking after Hannah’s girls, our nieces, Ali and Sofi.
Sofi with her completed ‘za!
This weekend is a first, inasmuch as I’m looking after the girls on my own. Teresa decided to stay home and do homey stuff.
Ready for the oven… (pizza, not I!)My little ‘za, in’t oven.
Hannah and the girls were having home-made pizzas. Even though I’d already had a lovely curry, with couscous, at home earlier, I had to have some home made pizza!
Pizza base, tomato sauce, chorizo and cheddar.
Ali disappeared off to her room for a video call, with her friend Ash, who now lives in New Zealand. Hannah, Sofi and I watched Austin Powers, International Man of Mystery. So silly! Mike Myers’ pastiche/homage to the ‘60s (transplanted to the ‘90s) is fab, baby!
So silly, but so funny.Kind of ironic, given Burt’s passing only yesterday!
Burt Bacharach passed away at the ripe old age of 94 today. What a legend!
Here’s one of my own personal favourites from his extensive and illustrious catalogue:
From Alfie to What The World Needs Now, his body of work is incredible. I adore the string of albums under his own name, from the later ‘60s and the 1970s, with his own orchestra, and Burt at the piano, singing his own tunes (lyrics by Hal David, of course!).
A few days ago I was driving on the B1101, and I passed the site of the awful crash I witnessed on Dec’ 8th, ‘22. I noticed a floral tribute on the side of the road where the crash occurred.
Rather tragic and depressing.
A bit of ‘Googling’ and I found this, which reveals that the driver of the dark grey VW Golf has died, about three weeks after the actual collision (Dec’ 28th). The man’s name, Mark Raftery, of Elm, Wisbech. Various articles online give his age as either 48 or 49.
I spoke to all three of the victims at the scene. Mark’s cries of pain and anguish were the most harrowing thing about the experience. He even said ‘I’m gonna die’. Which, it now turns out, was prophetic.
Apparently a silver Audi had sped past a van that was heading towards Wisbech, and Mr Raftery attempted to do the same, only to collide head on with a lady who, although she has serious – possibly life changing – injuries has said (via a local Facebook page) that she’s ok.
What was the role of the silver Audi in this appalling crash, and Raftery’s subsequent death? From what little I saw and heard – I only saw the impact itself from a distance; more detail came from the driver of the van, who was so nearly caught up in the collision – it seems that it was Mr Raftery’s overtaking manoeuvre that caused the crash. Was he racing or chasing the mysterious silver Audi?
Raftery’s passenger (30, but unnamed) has also been left with serious ‘life changing’ injuries. And what about the gaffer-taped number plates on the car Raftery was driving? That was weird…
A little bit of online digging revealed this. It seems Mark Raftery has previous for dangerous driving, causing the death of his brother Kevin, in 2008. As a result of which, in 2010, Mark was sentenced to five years in prison.
It must be awful for all involved. Perhaps especially for the Raftery family, who have now lost two brothers. Hopefully all who know about this tragedy will learn to take care whilst driving.
Some time later… Whilst not wishing to speak ill of the dead, as the saying goes, during my ongoing searches for more info’ on this accident online, I first discovered that Mark had killed his brother in the aforementioned 2008 crash, and then read this, which includes the following:
‘The court heard that Raftery had 19 previous convictions for 41 offences. At the time of the crash he was driving at around 90mph whilst around three times over the drink drive limit.’
… sheeit! I just hope the other two victims of this event survive and are ok.
